Well, parents are not taking care of their children for compensations.

-You sound like experts on raising children. What was especially hard?

"Many things. For example, in elementary school, when my child wanted to play outside in certain places - I had to take in account what other moms allowed their kids, and think about what rules I should have for my kids.

"Same here. Like for video games, if everyone had it, it felt like I had to buy one for my child too. A family that’s not allowing games seemed very educational amongst the parents, but for the children, they may get excluded from the friends that do have the games.”

“That’s true, and it’s rare for parents to raise their children only with their own policy. It’s common for them to be influenced from other families, like how they decide to buy something for their children since “everyone else” has it.”

“But nowadays we have to weigh the word “everyone else” not to be excluded, so it’s pretty difficult.”

“Well, once they enter middle school, there are items that everyone has, such as cell phones, so we have to keep an eye on them not to let children bully others or be bullied.” 

- When spending time with children, do you witness or sense bullying?

“I cannot say there is none. It does exist. Then once anyone starts teasing, it escalates. The surrounding children may feel that if they don’t bully together, they will be bullied.”

- What do you do when you witness it?

“Warning once or twice is not enough, so I keep telling them to stop whenever I notice it. As they gradually grow up, children start to become more kind or have deeper understandings. Perhaps we have to wait until then with patience.”

- As mothers, are there times that you feel your messages are not being understood?

“Yes there are, and even if I put it in one way for a child to understand, it doesn’t work with the same expression for another child.”

“Well, parents are not taking care of their children for compensations. So I don’t feel pain if I receive harsh attitude despite my efforts.”

“I do!”

- Do you feel that your children are “immature” even when they grow up, for example as university students?

“Yes, and even after they get married, I would care and worry for them a lot. Actually, I myself was relying on my parents after I got married too. These days it has become common for people to ask their parents for help, to take care of their grandchildren.”

“But we only thank deeply enough for our parents after they’re gone. We realize the times when we troubled them, and we regret not having talked with them enough.”

“While they’re alive, we think of travel plans with them after our children grow up, yet we can’t take actions. No matter how much others tell us to express our thanks to parents.”
“As they don’t come true, and once our parents are gone…regrets remain.”

（8/23/2014 お台場 Odaiba）